Home; it’s what shapes us…

Jameson and I have been living in our home for three months now, a home that once belonged to my beloved Grandmother, a home that still means so much to my family and myself. Living in her home has been bittersweet for me; I’m confronted with daily reminders of the wonderful lady she was, and of the wonderful life she lived. With the recent one-year anniversary of her passing, I can’t help but reflect on how much my life has changed in a year’s time, and how much I’ve learned from her, even in her absence.

Every time I clean the house,

I think of how she would always say “I love my little house, it’s the perfect size for me, if it was any bigger it would just be more for me to clean”. And that’s exactly how I feel! The two-bedroom house is just right for Jameson and I; cleaning it is a breeze, and allows us to spend time doing other things.

Every time I take a shower,

I think of how when I was little, she always made me cut my fingernails and toenails after my bath because that was when the nail was softest and easiest to cut. That is so smart!! And to this day, I only cut my nails after a shower. 

Every time I put something on top of the fridge,

I remember the little wooden basket that she used to keep up there that was full of trinkets, hair bows, and other girly things. When I would spend the night at her house, after my bath, and after we cut my nails, Grandmommy would let me get the basket down and she would put my hair in the little pink, soft curlers. (Cousins, do you guys remember that basket??) It was always so fun to stay with Grandmommy.

Every time I get a birthday card in the mail,

I think of how great she was at keeping up with her correspondence. Grandmommy had index card boxes filled with information about everyone who had a place in her life. Each person had their own index card, filed alphabetically, that listed birthdays, anniversaries, and important life events. Occasionally, she would have you update your card with recent information, and when a new person came into the family, she would have them fill out a new card. This allowed her to be so efficient in sending cards for all occasions. Often I would get my birthday card weeks before my birthday, just because she wanted to make sure I got it in time. And how great she was at thank-you cards too! She instilled in me the importance of a timely and well-written thank you. How I hope I sent her thank-you cards for all the things she did for me, although I really couldn’t have written enough.

Every time I look at mine and Jameson’s new car,

I think of how proud she would be of our purchase. My Grandmother was a banker before her retirement, and she was so good with money. I can remember her telling me, even at a young age, the importance of paying for things with cash, and limiting the use of credit. She would tell me how she was able to pay for her vehicles in cash, and I would listen and absorb her wisdom, not understanding its full implications. But when Jameson and I faced the opportunity of purchasing a gently used, 12-year-old car with minimal mileage, I heard her advice ringing in my ears. Our new car isn’t flashy, pretty, or stylish, but it’s in fabulous shape and will last for many years. And the best part, we were able to pay in cash! I can hear her now saying “Good for you, that’s so smart!” 

Every time I cook in my kitchen,

I’m completely amazed at what a wonderful cook she was!! I always knew her food tasted fabulous, but now that I’ve had to cook and entertain in the same small kitchen she used, I’m in awe of her ability to feed the masses with ease! I never thought twice of going to her home for Sunday lunch, where she would have food prepared for our whole family, every bit of it hot and ready to eat. How did she ever get everything cooked to the perfect temperature, steamy and delicious, and ready at noon? How did she find the space to heat and prepare all of her dishes, and the space to serve them, and the sanity to keep it all together in the process?? I remember her telling me  “Always clean as you cook. It’s very important to keep your workspace clean. I’ve washed and put away two loads of dishes already!” That must’ve been her secret, one secret amongst many secrets I’m sure. Now looking back at those wonderful Sunday lunches, I don’t remember seeing any dirty pots, measuring cups, spoons, bowls, cutting boards, etc. (those items are often found in my kitchen!!) She must’ve cleaned and whisked everything away before we all arrived. Last night, I did a load of dishes while cooking (I don’t have a dishwasher…have I mentioned that yet on this blog??), and I teared-up a little as I thought of how proud she would be. I know she would tell me, “Emily, you are so smart!”. I’ll be channeling Grandmommy as I continue my quest to become a fabulous multi-tasking, multi-talented cook! 

A beautiful tree in our yard

Every time I look at our yard,

I remember how much she loved to garden, and I’m inspired by her desire to have a well-kept exterior. She never had extravagant flowerbeds or ornate arrangements, but she had well-placed shrubs, neatly tended to flowers, and immaculate trees. Anytime a tree became unruly, she would have someone trim it immediately. Whenever the grass got out of control, she would have it cut without delay. She kept her shrubs precisely trimmed, and her steps swept of leaves and sticks. It would be nothing for Grandmommy to walk along the edge of her yard (and my parent’s yard too) and pick up trash that had been thrown out by passing cars. Even in her later years, I would see her out in the yard with her cane, picking up trash. I always hated when she did that, as I would fear for her safety. But Grandmommy took such pride in keeping her home looking clean and beautiful, and it always did!!

As I now watch Jameson tend to our yard, I wonder if it is a coincidence that I married a man that has so many of the same qualities that I admired in my Grandmother. He too prides himself in having a well manicured home. He will spend hours mowing, weed-eating, picking up sticks, watering flowers, sweeping our steps, and of course, picking up trash. Does he even realize how much he is honoring Grandmommy by doing so? (I love that man!) I know she would be so proud of him and tell him, “Jameson, you are so smart!”

I'm so happy Jameson was able to get to know Grandmommmy!

Living in this home means so much to me; it’s helped me grieve the loss of my Grandmother, it’s allowed me to remember and reflect on the many wonderful memories I have of her, it’s aided in my continual learning process of how to maintain a lovely home, and it’s inspired numerous aspirations for my future. And lastly, it now plays host to the formative years of mine and Jameson’s marriage. How special to experience our growing love for each other while in a home that has such a history of love. How meaningful to form our own family and learn to rely solely on one another while in a home once inhabited by someone so special, that many relied on her. 

I’m so thankful for the years that Jameson and I have ahead of us living in this special home!